Family reunion, the reason why we are here

It feels like it has been a long hiatus from this blog and the internet, and my computer fingers are itchy. But really it was only a week away from Bonn - a week of family in Sweden.

Like a lot of families, Olof’s brothers and sisters get together for a long weekend each summer for a family reunion. It has not always worked out that we can join the clan meeting, since we have to fly half way around the world to get there. And this year we were still on the fence, even though we are now only a two hour flight away.

By now the house saga is passé, but when we had to book tickets for our trip, we were in the midst of house uncertainty and I could hardly imagine going on “vacation” from it. Fortunately that was sorted out, and we decided to go up to Sweden to frolic with the siblings.

Unfortunately we had waited so long to make this decision that the tickets had gone from very cheap to very expensive. Ah well, the “it is only money” concept kicked in and family overrode that worry. After all, the reason we moved to Germany in the first place was to be in Europe and closer to Olof’s family, right?

Because the kids and I have very little to do here in Bonn we decided to take the opportunity to stay a few extra days and while Olof would return to our not too thrilling temporary apartment and back to work.

I have to say I was rather hesitant at the idea of spending four additional days in Sweden with the kids and a mix of various brother- and sister-in-laws and their kids, without Olof as my buffer.

It turned out to be a fantastic decision all the way around, and everyone had a great time, despite the rainy days. Olof’s family is an amazing group of thoughtful, genuinely kind and extremely generous people, who also love a good party in the rain.

We arrived rather late on Thursday night to Stockholm and were whisked up directly by brother Sven (yes they really do have names like Sven in Sweden), and his youngest son Peter and drove two hours to their summer house in the Swedish countryside. There were several family members already there, oldest brother Anders and his wife Eva, Sven’s wife Kerstin, and a smattering of their children.

Another amazing thing about this family is that food and beds seem to appear from nowhere, and as if by magic a beautiful dinner appeared and warm beds for the kids were prepared. It is Swedish fairy land in this little red house with white trim and summer lights that don’t dim until past midnight.

By Friday more family had arrived, youngest brother Martin and his wife Camilla, and his 2 kids who match ours in ages very well – Anton and Oskar. The cousins sized each other up and quickly discovered they had enough in common to disappear for pretty much the rest of the weekend. Sister Sara came with her youngest daughter Lisa, who is 8 and relieved Louise of the being the only girl in the 7-9 age range.

At some point some of the older neices and nephews(now in their twenties) brought out enough paintball equipment to suit up 6 people and we took turns shooting each other in the forest – so much for the peacenik Swedes. The looks of glee on the kids' faces when Olof let them test the weapons too, was scary and precious at the same time.

All my hard work at the anti-gun campaign up in smoke!

By Saturday everyone had arrived. Oldest sister Maria, her sons, and the parents of the whole group Eric and Margareta and Kerstin’s mother came with baskets fresh baked cinnamon buns for everyone. All in all we were 32 people, and it was turning out to be an amazing day.

By the time we started to get ready for dinner and planned to seat everyone, the sky opened up and the torrential rains came. But that did not stop this experienced crowd – up came the tarps and the feast went on. And on. And on. I was probably the first in bed at around 2:00!

On Sunday Olof had to go back home, but not before a group of us took a quick trip into the forest for my absolute favorite Swedish activity, picking mushrooms. For anyone who has not tried a Cantrell mushroom, I am so sorry for you. They are beautiful yellow gems that grow hidden in the forest among the trolls and fairies. And when you find them it is like a pirate finding treasure. The kids were great at hunting them down and shouting out at every discovery.

Now my ramblings must end, and I have not even mentioned the fantastic days that we spent at Maria’s summer house, the visit to the silver mine, and the days at Sven’s home in Uppsala, the town where Olof and I lived for almost 7 years! But you get the idea, we had a wonderful trip with family and there is a clear affirmation of having moved to Europe to be closer to this wonderful group of relatives.

Home Sweet Home

Our days of meeting German realtors are at an end (we hope)! Our patience and perseverance has paid off. We found a house that fulfills all of our requirements, ones that we did not even know we had until we really starting weighing all the elements we felt would impact our lives the most, and make our experience here not just one of survival, but really living.

The home we have found is a house, not an apartment, with a beautiful garden. After 2weeks now in an apartment in town, the freedom for the kids to go out into our own back yard, as opposed to playing in the hallways of an apartment building is so appealing. And Noah has his heart set on an archery set, which is hard to manage in an apartment; the whole bale of hay in the hallway idea was not working for me.

We will be living in the southern section of Bonn called Bad Godesburg, which not quite it’s own town, but not quite a suburb either. It is an old spa resort (think Calistoga, but no longer spa-focused) with great older houses and tree lined streets. We will be within walking distance to shops and the train, and not too far from a bus stop that could take the kids to school if need be. Otherwise we are close enough to their school and Olof’s work to ride bikes; we think it will be about 20 minutes, mostly on bike paths - just like Davis (maybe not in the snow)!

The house, built in the late 1920s, is pretty darn big, so we are hoping to fill it with guests once we are settled. It is three stories, which the kids love, and has an ample dining room, living room, and brand new kitchen (yep, you read that right, the kitchen in this house has just been installed, we saw it with our very own eyes), and 3 bedrooms on the secont and third floors, each. There is of course a basement and a garage, what more could we ask for, except of course a gardener. Oh, yeah, that is included too.

All that is left in this process is signing the papers with the landlord. Everything seems in order so far, but his biggest concern seems to be that we will not stay forever. The Germans do not write leases with a time limit, they would prefer to have their places rented out permanently, saving them oodles of hassle I suppose. The landlord wants to meet with us before everything is official, so we will all be on our best behavior.

Our days now will take on a more touristic bend, with me and the kids wandering aimlessly through Bonn and beyond, with no appointments to make nor strict rules for the kids to adhere to while I am checking out living spaces. We will actually not sign a contract until July 30, when the landlord returns from his vacation (and approves us, keep your fingers crossed). I will sleep a lot better once he does.

If all goes well, we are planning on moving in on August 15, when we hope that our belongings will finally have arrived.

Pit-Pat in the Park

I have been very stingy with our camera since we have been here. When I noticed that the battery charger with adapter was not actually charging the camera I realized that I had to be choosey with my pictures. In fact, I had only taken 3 since we got here.

But I made a genius discovery the other day that will be life changing for me in Germany, Amazon.de. Ha! And my Amazon account from the states, with log-in, works great.

This way I was able to order a battery charger for my camera battery, freeing me from the worries of no documentation in the future.

So, here are a few photos from our day in the big park. We played a new game to us, that we are planning on importing upon return called Pit-Pat. It is a pool game version of mini-golf. Very fun for all of us.

We then had lunch in a typical beer garden with, what else, pork and beer. Louise had asked for sausage, and that is what we thought we ordered, but instead it was some sort of barbecued pork. Olof sacrificed himself and ate it and concluded it was delicious. Louise had to satisfy herself with sharing Noah's pizza, while I ate my goulash and drank my beer quite happily.

We played awhile in a great play park before heading off for our daily ice-cream. We were caught in a torrential downpour and had to wait under the ice-cream truck's awning until it passed.

I am still trying to figure out the best way to post pictures here, so feedback is welcome.

Cutlture day

Today was a day to do a little sightseeing in the area (after seeing dwelling #10 -our favorite so far, but now we have to wait for the landlord to approve us, more to follow on that saga for sure!)

We decided to go to the baroque style palace, Augustusberg, about 15 minutes away from Bonn by train. It was quite a trip, and the palace is very "fancy", but the tour in German was lost on us for the most part. The kids liked fountains and gardens the best, and Olof was fascinated by how the fountains were powered in the 1700s.

The day has been a great one, with delicious cakes for all of us - we tested the strawberry, the plum and the rhubarb, yum! And slow walking in the very ornate gardens on a slightly rainy and very pleasant day.

Beethoven's house

Bonn is the city of Beethoven. The composer was born here and the tributes to him abound throughout town. Most prominent is the Beethoven house, which is a museum for all things Beethoven set in the home of his birth.

The kids and I went to the Beethovenhaus earlier this week and drank in the history. For Noah and Louise the best part was the media room, which included computers with an interactive program detailing Beethoven's life.

I have put the link up on this blog so that you too can experience the culture of Bonn for kids! Louise especially recommends listening to all his music. Once in the English language version, you can click on his piano and chose from all of his works. It is very cool.

Shopping for food - Costco living this is not

I am a not-so-secret Costco lover. I really don’t enjoy admitting this, but it is true. Perhaps it is genetic, my mother has been a long-standing Costco fan and got me hooked years ago by bringing me spinach raviolis and blocks of aged cheddar. I must have lived a past life in a famine, because I love to stock my freezer with enough food for months on end. It is a freedom to be able to open my cupboard and know I can make a meal for 10 at the drop of a hat. The 2 gallons of milk that I would buy at a time, made my heart sing.

So withdrawals were inevitable here in Germany.

All food that we eat is carried home in my handy shopping bag and backpack at the end of each day, every day. So, the kids and I have to plan what we are able to carry from the store to home. This is tricky if we need more than 2 heavy items, since I really am the pack horse and the kids tend to complain if they have more than toilet paper to carry. Remember, beer is heavy!

Generally Germans are not one stop shoppers. There is an open market to buy vegetables, a bakery for bread, the cheese shop with hundreds of delicious cheeses, the butcher shop (which I have yet to venture into), special shops for toiletries, etc. There are a few grocery stores that carry most items, but these are pretty limited.

Luckily, just around the corner from us is a great open air vegetable market, where we pick out which fruits and vegetables we want, and the stall owner weighs it and hands it over – we are not allowed to handle the produce ourselves – so it pays to be nice in order to get the best goods. There is also “bio” (organic) market 2 times a weeks a bit further on, which is also nice, but not as convenient. So, in a way, it is like having the Davis Farmers market available every day, in several places in town.

After picking out our veggies and fruit, we often stop by the bread store. I love the heavy brown breads (which are perfect for dipping in soup), but the kids usually go for a soft baguette, it’s all good though. Then we are loaded to go home. I try not to make more than 2 or 3 stops at the end of our day, because the kids get squirrely and I go nuts.

Because the milk does not come in gallon size, or even half gallon size, but by the liter, we have to pick some up every few days. So, on a non-produce day, we make a grocery trip and stock up on butter, pasta, cereal, milk, whatever we need, and of course beer.

All this shopping is pretty time consuming, but it has been a great way to practice my pigeon German and get to know our way around town. I have heard there is a Costco-like store outside of town, but by the time we get a car, I may have adapted to this rather quaint way of life.

Sunday Hopes soar, hopes fall

A cool thing about living in Europe is the old buildings, and so much of what is built in this city is old, like 19th century old. And the history is often much older. On Sunday we visited the local castle, in the southern part of Bonn, called Godesburg, which was built in 1510. This is a great place, built high on top of a hill, to view all the surrounding areas. From this point we could see to Cologne in the North and several castles to the east.

As I looked around the city, I tried to picture our final resting place. No, not a cemetery, but the perfect house or apartment where we could call home for the next 18 months. I have had my hopes set on something old here, something unique and “European”, with character, charm, and high ceilings. We have seen a few of these places, but nothing is quite right so far, either it is too far from buses, has no parking for the car we will buy, has no space for the kids to run around in, or is just plain too funky to make work.

So we are expanding our search to newer places. Convenience is valuable too. There are several apartments within walking distance from Olof’s job and the kids’ school, all newer (from 1960 to 2009), with not much charm. But I am open-minded, right?
On our walk about town after the castle, and a few stops for apple cake and cheese bread, we ventured up to the kids’ school with the ulterior goal of scoping out some of these newer apartments. The school is located smack on the Rhein river. It is a beautiful, new, two story building with a play yard that got the kids excited to start school. It also happens to be next door to Olof’s office. It is ideal.

So, what could be better than finding an apartment within walking distance? One of these potential apartments is in an “American compound” that was built when Bonn was the capital of west Germany, and the Americans were here to make certain that Germany would stay in-line and that Communism would not creep in from the East.
This compound is huge and now rents out as apartments to common citizens like us. Unfortunately, we have found that there is a waiting list to live in these 1960s residences, and we just don’t have the time to wait.

An alternative that got us excited was also very nearby. A newly built complex of townhouses, an eager to rent landlord (according to the realtor we spoke to), a good size, a garden, what could be better? We could not get an appointment to see the apartment on a Sunday, but were so eager we decided to check it out from the outside, and I could come back with the kids the next day.

Alas, some things appear to be better than they are - and just because all criteria seem to be met, there may be something amiss. In this case, and some may say I am too picky, the “garden” is no more than the size of our former minivan, and the town house is 5 bedrooms in about 1200 square feet in 3 stories. Imagine how they squished that in! Compact is a generous word.

Well, all this judgment, and I have not actually seen the place on the inside. No judging a book by its cover, I know, but this is also a reminder not to count my chickens before they hatch! Or, if something seems too good to be true, perhaps it is… I will see for myself in the morning and try not to get my hopes up too much.

Thank god the beer is good, and yes there is pork and more pork on the menu

If you know me at all, you know I am a beer drinker. And that is a good thing when living in Germany, because this is truly the land of the beer. So much so that there is an etiquette in ordering the local beer.

When Olof thought he had a handle on this the other night, he ordered the local Bonn beer, Bünsch. The waiter scoffed and said nein, we have Kölnsch, which is the local beer for Koln (Cologne – a bigger city just a few kilometers away). Same difference to me really, just as long as they bring it cold.

Generally these local beers are delivered in tall, narrow glasses that are 200ml (about 8 ounces), and are marked on your coaster for each one you drink. An excellent system, really. I have watched the locals down 4 or 5 of these in a short time and the waiter has no trouble keeping track.

Another thing about me is that I really don’t like pork. No reasons really, but just a carryover perhaps from the days when I did not eat any meat at all.

In Germany however, avoiding pork may prove to be more of a challenge than I thought. Here pork is everywhere. Every menu includes pork in some form, most meat in the supermarkets is pork, and all the small food vendors on the street sell pork sausage – every kind of sausage mind you, all consisting of pork. The kids love this sausage by the way, especially Louise who could probably live off of sausage alone.

There is, however, no shortage of sauerkraut, and mashed potatoes are served everywhere, which satisfies me just perfectly.

My legs ache mom!

Is it considered child abuse to make my kids walk for hours on end, limping from shin splints and blistered toes? After our first two days of A LOT of walking I have definitely tried to accommodate our days better, making sure that we never go more than a few hours without food and play breaks. Again my efficiency genes are on trial here, but I do love my kids and don’t want them to resent me too much for having dragged them all the way across the ocean for this torture.

We have spent our first 5 days walking, literally, around Bonn, and looking for a home. We have seen only 4 apartments, one twice, and are still undecided. It is, needless to say, a slow process.

A funny thing about apartments in Germany is that they are stripped bare. This means that there are no light fixtures in the ceilings, no built in closets and no kitchen. The kitchens are just a space, completely empty. This means no sink, stove, refrigerator, no counter tops, and no cupboards. It is funny to see, when looking at these apartments, the kitchen as just a blank slate. But this in just another thing to factor in when we are making our list of what we need and want in our new home.

So far my first choice of living places is an amazing old apartment built in 1895 with 12 foot high ceilings and more than enough living space. And a garden. This may not seem unusual at home in Davis, but in this city, finding an apartment with a garden is a jewel – the kids can run outside instead of into the street, and we can sit in the sun (if it ever comes out here) and contemplate life in a private backyard. Tomorrow we will see yet another place and perhaps be closer to a decision.

The biggest event for today – Saturday – was finally getting connected to the internet. Starbucks is my savior here and it just took figuring out how to subscribe for the day. It was a relief to send out a few emails and post up on this blog! My hour flew by.

We have been promised that on Tuesday we will be hooked up from our present apartment so I won’t have to wander about with my laptop anymore. Yipee! I am looking forward to a more regular contact with home, one that I had counted on, and have missed dearly this week.

Our first days and battling jet lag

Besides looking for food, we have not really had much time for much else. With Noah sleeping till noon and Louise napping from 3:00 to 6:00 – our exploring time is pretty limited. Fortunately we are not in a hurry to get to know this place.

The center of Bonn is quiet small and our temporary apartment is smack in the middle of it. This allows easy access to shops, which is great if you want cool shoes and hip jeans. Can’t really look though on my limited awake time when the kids are still perky. Saving that for later. It’s all about practical matters.

Today we did get to see a potential house, which was close to where Olof works and where the kids will be going to school, so we took the underground and several buses to explore. This funky house was 4 stories built on a hill, with the craziest attic living space I have seen. The shower/tub was almost in the center of the slanted roofed that only kids could stand in room with glass walls. Needless to say, this is not our first choice for our home.

The kids were not too amenable to walking much on our first day, so after lunch in the park and a wander to find the bus, we made our way to Olof’s work place just as it began to POUR rain. We decided to skip looking at their school and head back to the apartment and call it a day.

My usual efficiency must really take a backseat these days and it is a true trial of the very essence of my being!

Life without Internet

How did we cope just a few years ago without the Internet? Just days without being able to access friends, family and information has nearly driven me over the edge. I keep thinking that it is good for me, but really, it is not. I have way too much to do to do without, right now. Don’t get me wrong, I am all about simplicity and downsizing and low media influences, but no internet, no way!

How do I answer the question why exactly is MSG bad for you? How do I find that one apartment that we had looked at last week on-line and get the phone number to call the realtor? How do I get in touch with T-Mobile in the US to get my international access code for my cell phone? I need the internet to find the hotspots in Bonn for wireless so I can connect to the internet!

My life right now is all about finding a place to live. I feel like a caveman – forage for the offspring, now find shelter. Things haven’t changed much through time, but if I had internet access, it would sure be a lot easier to find that shelter. Of course if you are reading this blog, I will have found my connection, but for the moment I am just whining to myself.

I did manage to get a cell phone, but I cannot figure out voice mail since it is all in a language I do not understand – my 2 quarters of German almost 20 years ago have not really kicked in – though I did manage to get 200 grams of cheese quite handily. So, if any of the many realtors call me when I am in the bathroom, I will just have hope they call back.

And Now We are Here

Noah says it smells different, better somehow in Germany.
The high speed train ride from the Frankfurt airport to the outskirts of Bonn flew us through quaint villages dotted with small houses. Hills and forests, green from a recent rain. The humid damp is so different from the 100 degree heat of Davis. And yes, it does smell different somehow, musty, fresh, old, contradictory.
We were still traveling in our privileged class in the nose of the ICE train (intercity express) – though luckily our bags had not followed from the plane, since we ended up walking at least a kilometer inside train cars to get to this private cabin.

Once dumped at the train station in Siegburg, we were on our own. No fancy tickets would get us to the city center, and the kids were thrilled. Amazingly they were in good spirits at this point, and Noah had left his barf bag behind, refreshed by the German air. As we rolled through suburbs on the local tram, I had to keep pinching myself that this was it, our new life. Not really a vacation, and Olof would start work the next day.

20 minutes later and we were hopping off at a busy intersection in Bonn. We decided to skip a taxi because the apartment we had rented sight unseen on-line seemed to be close. Amazingly we walked directly to it in less than 5 minutes and landed. Olof went in to Deckers gun shop – our new landlords – to get the keys. Voila we were “home.”

There is always a risk in committing to anything without actually having seen, touched or smelled it, so I was more than a little nervous about what we had actually signed on for with our 3 week furnished apartment. Again, luck was with us and our little home is just fine. No frills, no luxuries, but 2 bedrooms, plenty of space, a funky doo kitchen with almost enough cutlery, but best of all, a washer and drier! What more could a mother ask for. And without our luggage, my first thought was to wash underwear so we could all sleep clean.

Actually before laundry, a mother’s first concern is food. And before we all crashed for good, we rallied out to find a few necessities. There seems to be no real food stores in the center of this city, but the multitude of bread and cheese shops would suffice. Olof actually ventured out later while the kids showered to find milk, butter and coffee in the basement of the local department store.

Once fed we all attempted sleep. We were up at midnight for a snack, and slept again until about 4:00. Louise was wide awake then and ready for the day, so she and I hung out and chatted until Olof had to go to work. Noah slept until noon and then our first real day in Bonn began.

Traveling with children is easy – in First class

I love to travel and have done a fair share in my life, starting when I was six on an extended camping voyage to Europe with my family. This, I am sure, instilled my love for new places, which continued on through my twenties when I ventured to Japan, and beyond and ended up in Sweden, via India. That’s a story for another day however.

The point is that I have been around the block, and I love traveling. I especially love to fly. I love taking off and landing, and everything in between. I have always loved to walk around the airport, guessing where people are from. Watching arrivals, ecstatic greetings of parted lovers and tearful departures between mothers and teens off embarking on their first adventure. I have even enjoyed the long waits during snow storms and delayed planes, with nothing to do but contemplate my journey.

I loved it all, until I had kids. And then traveling took on another dimension. Mostly being covered in vomit, finding bathrooms fast, carrying hours worth of entertainment and snacks for kids ages two to nine. Waiting can be unbearable with a hungry, tired child, as we all know.

But I now know the answer to it all. First class. Even Noah, who tends to get sick just anticipating the flight and keeps a bag practically taped over his mouth while in motion, could not get enough of our First class status. To give him credit, Noah loves to fly too, and he is a real trooper, even though he does throw up on just about every flight he is on.

The first perk with First class was the airport lounge, with free chips and juice, our 4 hour layover was a joy (and the train ride between terminals that we made 5 times was pretty fun). When we finally boarded the plane in Denver we were ready to go. Louise figured out the massage feature in her seat right away, and I hardly saw she and Olof again as they were safely tucked away in their pods behind me and Noah.

We had so much leg room we were giddy, plus individualized entertainment centers, real food and drinks and beds! Yes, our seats made out into just about full beds and we all got a good deal of sleep on our Denver – Frankfurt leg. In First class I was able to drink my bloody Mary, read a book, and watch a movie undisturbed, almost as if I were traveling alone.

The best part of all was happy and semi-rested kids, totally entertained from Davis to Bonn - almost 24 hours of travel, despite the air sickness. If only we could afford it every time….

(actually we travelled First class only from Sacramento to Denver, and from Denver to Frankfurt it was Business class, but for us Economy travelers, it was luxury all the way, thanks to Olof’s new job).

On saying Goodbye

Call it denial or stoicism, I have shed very few tears over our moving out of Davis. And I intended it to stay that way until I actually got on the plane. But tonight I was hit in the chest and the tears flowed.

We are not leaving Davis, just going on a prolonged adventure. right? No need for drama... but, I was so moved tonight at the Farmers market when so many friends showed up , from so many of our different paths over the years. Nursery school friends, Birch Lane school friends, old neighborhood friends, PTA friends, Book club friends, college days friends, new and old, all so very dear to me.

As my friend Holly said, it was like a wedding. I felt like I was breezing through everyone and wanted to have a meaningful, appreciative moment with each and every person there. Is that really possible? To say how much you appreciate and care for this person who you may not see for 18 or more months? How to be profound in this farmers market situation?

The kids were running wild and happy, crazy with the "yes" parents (yes to the bouncy house, yes to ice cream, yes to just about anything to keep their spirits up and them occupied so we could say our hellos and goodbyes). Spirits were high all around. And then it was time to go. The kids started to fall apart, I started to say "no" (really, no kettlecorn, they did not need it after all the other junk). Tears from Louise, stomach ache for Noah. TIME TO GO.

So I really did have to say goodbye after all.

Well, saying goodbye to my friend Kristin and realizing that I would not see her in a day or two, but in 18 months... Dang, that hit me. And I feel sad. And the tears flowed. The problem is I am not done saying goodbye yet, we still have 4 more days.

"Are you excited?" people ask, well yes, I guess, but not really, I am too practical. I am thinking about the apartment we have to find, and my kids, will they be happy? and will I find a meaningful job? What kind of food will we eat besides sausage? Will I be able to satisfy my Mexican food cravings? So, excited? not really, but happy to finally be embarking on this adventure in a few days. No more waiting.

But saying goodbye...it sucks